Is this the start or finish line?

Funny thing is the start and the finish line are both a similar bold white painted line straight across the road. One lines has large bold letters painted across it spelling out the word: Start, while the other line spells out: Finish. If only the lines were as clear in real life.

We are at a really weird place in our home owning journey. The spot where you think you found the perfect house and excitement is seeping out of your pores, but you are also trying to play it cool and avoid any deep attachment to the four walls that may be your future. At what point can you genuinely experience your excitement without fear? This process hangs in the twilight zone for what seems like years, but in reality is just a couple weeks long and it might be the worst form of torture I can imagine. Do I start planning where to put things or how we will make this house our home? It’s awfully difficult to push it to the back of my mind or ignore the risk of what could happen during the inspection or appraisal. I’ve never leapt over a hurdle, but I believe this is what it must feel like to have those muscles stretch as you attempt to gain enough air to clear the metal bar blocking your way.

These situations call for patience, which we have already established I don’t have much of, and faith. Whether you are religious or not, there is a general sense of “what is meant to be” about the future. If we are meant to start our lives here, the next few steps will land on strong and sturdy ground- even if they are some off balance, wobbly steps. I tend to live life by a more ambitious motto though which makes this even more difficult for me. “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me,” our cheerleader Miss Deanne is always reminding us for our businesses. And while I never heard the motto expressed in those words before, I realized that’s basically me in a nutshell. Tell me it cannot be done and I guarantee you I find a way to get it completed. I sit at the start line always ready to take off at full speed to win the gold medal, but this time I’m still not sure which line I’m staring at. Start or finish? Do I take off at full speed, picking out paint colors and packing up boxes? Do I start icing my legs, as I intently watch my future at a safe distance? If someone could just let me know, that would be fantastic and I could get on with my regularly scheduled life.

These are the real life, in real time moments in the world of Rachel Thrasher (don’t know why I referred to myself in third person, but it sounded good at the time). While I feel like I have the weight of that 800 square foot house on my shoulders, life goes on. It’s Thursday, which has been our date night every week since we started dating, so we have plans to see a movie. We have a weekend full of baseball and hopefully none of the frozen precipitation the weather men keep mentioning. Tuesday will be here before I know it and we will have one more hurdle behind us. But I won’t turn down any positive vibes or crossed fingers you might send this way! And maybe next week, we will brush off the dust off this line and find the word “Start” written in big bold letters.

Until the next report,

OX,

Rachel

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