Everything in life serves a purpose.
Whether they be terrible things that have happened in your past or amazing opportunities presented to you for your future- they are designed all to lead you to something you need to fulfill a piece of your story.
My story needed Lularoe. My business with the company is responsible for so many chapters of my life. Personal growth, experience growth, and let’s be honest- so much social growth. I learned to challenge my anxieties and not accept the darkness. The business made me dust off my emotions and spread them around like I was watering a garden- well, that’s basically what I was doing. See, while running our Lularoe business, I was planting seeds in my life’s garden unknowingly. A seed to begin healing from my childhood. A seed for trust- trust in myself and others. A few seeds for the strength to focus on the light and not allow or accept the darkness. Seeds were planted that grew deeper relationships with people in my life and others grew new relationships. There was a whole row of seeds planted that will provide the tools to truly fulfill my purpose and do things bigger than I ever imagined. Running my business has watered these seeds, weeded the gardens they live in, and kept those pesky deer and rabbits away from the leaves. While I couldn’t keep even a real mum alive through the fall, I was a regular old Farmer Joe when it came to my theoretical plants. But plants follow a lifecycle. Eventually, it becomes time to step back from the constant care of the seeds and harvest the bounty that comes from the full grown plants that were raised. And while I’ve been meticulously careful about being sure it truly is harvest season- it is time for me to reap the harvest that Lularoe has fertilized and prepare the garden for my next season of growth.
I’m not able to pin point the exact date, but at some point in the not so distant past- a theoretical snag happened in my leggings. Maybe it happened because I got caught up with the dogs- enjoying their constant energy and snuggles. It could’ve gotten snagged on my engagement ring while I was writing the fifth draft of our invite list and chatting with Bryan about the men’s attire. Or it could have possibly been while I was working on a project for the house- maybe one of my many rearranging projects. This snag was left because my focus began to shift to things that brought joy. Unaware of this shift, I just tried to cover the snag up. Pretending it wasn’t there, I moved full steam ahead with every ounce of my energy to continue the growth of our business. Eventually, from all the hustle and bustle and the constant running in circles- the snag grew. This growth is a different story than the growth of the seeds I mentioned earlier… or maybe its the same. It got harder to hide the snag, I started to worry more about if the leggings were just going to rip in half. Focus continued to shift from the business to this growing hole in my leggings now. Months passed, before I found myself unable to do anything but stare at the massive tear in the leggings. I stopped wanting to put them on- they didn’t make me feel accomplished anymore, but instead reminded me of the constant dread and fear of tearing threads. One day- I looked at them for the final bittersweet time and only saw of what they used to be. It was then that I decided it was their time to go.
That theoretical snag was a real snag in my life and in my business. There are so many aspects of running my business that still fill my cup- but that snag grew until it became overwhelming. Things I tried to ignore, push to the side and just sprint past when it came to business growth all came into focus. Lularoe served its purpose in my life, but when a whole of something fails to bring fulfillment, joy, or passion into your life anymore- why do we stay? It was a moment of heroic braveness to start our Lularoe business and now it was taking even more courage to finish that chapter. It took a tiny snag to grow into an endless black hole for me to put my foot down. I refused to go back down the path I had come from. I would not let darkness swallow me whole. So I’m digging up the courage to write the ending to my Lularoe chapter, turn the page, and begin my new chapter. A new chapter of empowerment and personal growth.
Everything that God’s given me through my life thus far has been with purpose. A purpose that has been unclear for most of my life, but through the past few years- a clarity has set in. I found life’s spectacles and I can finally read the signs. I have a story to share. I wasn’t given courage and fight to keep it to myself. These gifts were given to me to share with hope that someone who needs it just as much as I do, reads this one day and their life changes. So I will shift my focus from constantly just selling feelings- to constantly sharing them. I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know if anyone will even keep following me or read my blog. But I do know that this was my purpose all along and I have faith. This new chapter will be full of honesty- lots of very raw and ugly truths. Because this struggle is not all inspirational quotes and cute pictures of my outfits. It’s unfair anger directed to the wrong people. It’s the same pajama pants for five days because there is so little energy remaining from your battle with anxiety. It’s having real conversations with real people to connect far past your favorite legging print or favorite dress.
My days, for now, will be focused on recovery and healing from my past. I will spend my hours doing things I didn’t have courage to do before. And I vow- right here and right now- to share every real honest truth with you all- my family. I will continue to grow our online community, with a shift from shopping the latest fashions to support, love and the pursuit of mental health. We will continue to have an online boutique as an accessory instead of the focus. There are amazing days in our future- I know it. Lives will be changed and it won’t be just me changing them. I can feel your ability to impact others powering up and glowing. You ladies are the foundation for a new community where the broken will walk in and the healed will walk on to share hope.
I won’t lie- I’m terrified. Change is traumatic for me. But if you’ve ever felt that deep pull that comes from somewhere right under your heart, you understand the internal battle I’ve had for the past few months. One chapter may be closing, but I have faith that God has bigger plans for my next one. If there’s anything that I’ve learned during the Lularoe chapter, it’s that you are strong. Much stronger than you give yourself credit for.